It's (paleo) BLT time!

Oh man... I owned dinner tonight.  Seriously.  Look at this:

Yeah so I was thinking, mmmmmmmBLTs.  Yeah, that thought exactly.  And then I'm thinking, Bacon. Lettuce.  Tomato.  That don't say a thing about toast.  Forget toast.

Lettuce wraps and/or cups basically suffice for everything, and bacon is never a bad idea.  And while yogurt pretty much always works for mayonnaise, I was feeling a bit saucy.  Or condiment-y, rather.  I decided to make my own mayo.

I attempted the double boiler, food safety method, but my yolk got a little scrambled.  I decided, we eat raw eggs now and again in coffee (yes seriously) and we buy nice eggs, so whatever, let's gamble. So I put one egg yolk, a teaspoon of vinegar, a dash of salt, ground mustard, turmeric and cayenne into a bowl.  I beat it on high speed with a hand mixer while slowly, over the course of about five minutes, drizzed a half cup of olive oil into the mix.   I had no consistency issues at all and it turned out great.   It did taste a lot like olive oil (which makes it aioli technically) and it was awfully yellow from the (healthy) spices but it was totally delicious, especially when paired with tomatoes.

So I guess I'd better formally recip-ize this--I give you: 

BLTs!!!!!!

1 head butter lettuce

1 large tomato

1 package (approx 10 strips) of bacon

Homemade mayo (egg yolk, vinegar, spices and olive oil) or plain yogurt

Salt and pepper to taste 

Cook the bacon, wash and separate your lettuce, cut your tomato, and put your mayo or yogurt into a ziplock bag and cut the tip off for fancy squeezing.

Take a lettuce leaf, arrange a slice of bacon and a couple of tomato slices inside, fancilly drizzle the mayo or yogurt over the top, and sprinkle salt and pepper on top.   Voila.

 My fiancé cut up some awesome shoestring sweet potato fries to accompany, and in retrospect I should have added avocado to the BLTs.  But simple as these were, they were DELICIOUS, and are definitely going to be a regular going forward.

Quick and Easy Ceviche

Tonight was one of those nights where I forgot to thaw the planned chicken until this morning (aka too late) and we spent most of our time after work on an epic run so I was NOT feeling the whole thaw and then cook debacle... Meat never turns out as juicy or tender when it is thawed in the microwave, and since I had already stuffed it with cheese I was kind of iffy on that.  For most, especially following a seven-mile run, that would be enough to provoke a fast food night, but not this girl!

Fortunately I was in possession of an avocado, a lime, some frozen shrimp in the freezer, and a garden full of tomatoes and parsley... Five minutes later, we were eating.

Quick and Easy Ceviche

 

(its in a martini glass because really, why wouldn't it be)

Ingredients:
1/2 lb frozen cooked shrimp
Two medium-sized tomatoes or equivalent
One lime
One avocado
1 tbsp fresh chopped parsley (cilantro if your fiancé doesn't hate it)
Salt and pepper to taste

Put the shrimp in a big bowl of water, and let sit for five minutes. That's how you thaw shrimp.  It's that easy.

While that's going down, dice your tomatoes and put in a medium mixing bowl.  I planted a bunch of heirloom varieties so I used 6-8 cherry-sized randoms and a few small tomatillos because I had some... Those are totally optional but very tasty.

Next, cut your avocado into cubes/chunks and mix in, you won't be smushing it like guacamole, so stir nicely.

Cut the lime in half and squeeze all of the juice into the bowl.

Cut up a few sprigs of parsley and sprinkle on top.

Pick the tails off of the shrimp and add them, along with a decent amount of salt and pepper.  Stir, taste, and adjust amounts to your liking.

I added a few black sesame seeds on the top for appearances and because I had them, again, totally optional.

Serve fancily and enjoy!

Whole meal is 500 calories so if you're splitting it, you'd want a side. We wanted something light but filling (hello avocado) after the run so it was perfect!

Creamy Pesto Chicken Bake

Okay guys, this is it.  This is hands-down my best invention ever.  I cook some pretty fantastic things that I've read about elsewhere, but i am proud to say this is 100% my own creation, there is no base recipe or inspiration really.  I was sitting at work, thinking about how delicious pesto is, and wondering how I could work it in to a baked spaghetti squash dish somehow (we make regular baked spaghetti squash all the time, with marinara and ground beef).  But pesto isn't saucy enough.  Sometimes when I'm not stressing on calories I'll add cottage cheese to our spaghetti squash bake (similar to how people put ricotta in lasagna, cottage cheese was my dad's cheap version lol) and it's tasty.  I don't know why, but my brain suggested processing the cottage cheese in with the pesto... Would that not make sauce?  And wouldn't a creamy white sauce taste best with chicken?  And if we're talking creamy chicken and white sauce, why not go all the way and splurge on some sundried tomatoes?  On that night, a star was born.

Now, this is not low-calorie.  If you cut it into 6 slices, they are 475 each.  You'd want to pair it with a vegetable side (sautéed greens, brussels sprouts, something light but filling) and exercise that day.  Most of your calories are from cheese.  But, this does taste like Jesus made it so it's a fantastic splurge and a wonderful dish to make for non-health-conscious individuals and shock with the fact that it's totally grain-free.  I give you your next dinner party dish, and undoubtedly your biggest main-dish hit.  Introducing...

Creamy Pesto Chicken Bake

Ingredients:
1 medium spaghetti squash
1 16oz container cottage cheese
1-2 lbs raw chicken breast, cut into small pieces
1 cup loosely packed fresh basil leaves
1/2 cup shredded or shaved fresh Parmesan
4 garlic cloves
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp almond flour or meal (I use this instead of pine nuts, its cheaper and I have it on hand)
1 tsp sea salt
5-10 sundried tomatoes
1 8oz package shredded mozzarella cheese
Dash of dried parsley
Parchment paper... for everything

Put the whole spaghetti squash in oven, and heat to 400.  No pan necessary, just the whole squash, uncut, right on the rack.  Leave in for 20-30 minutes, until you can sorta pierce it with a fork.  Not easily... just sorta.  This step is only to ensure that you can cut the squash without cutting your hand and/or arm off.  Then take the squash out and either let it cool or handle with oven mitts... I'm impatient so I use oven mitts and kitchen tongs.  You'll cut it in half lengthwise and then scoop out the seeds and pulp with a spoon, only out of the very center, just like a pumpkin.  Leave the flesh alone for now.  Put both halves on a cookie sheet face down (on parchment paper!) and put back in the oven for 20-40 minutes depending on the size of the squash... You can check the doneness by flipping a half and lightly dragging a fork over it... If something that looks like spaghetti peels off, you win.

In the meantime, heat the oil of your choice in a frying pan and cook your chicken.  You want it to be *just* done, not too much or it could overcook in the dish.  Once you have both squash and chicken, you can put them in the bottom of a roasting pan, casserole dish, whatever you want to use.  On parchment paper, duh.

In the rest of the meantime, make some pesto.  You should probably make pesto every day because it's amazing and you can eat it on everything.  Here is a photo I'm quite proud of to sum up pesto:

Put the basil, parmesan, olive oil, almond flour, salt and garlic cloves in a food processor and process until you get a chunky green paste.  If you were making pesto, you'd be done.  But you're making awesome sauce, so add the whole container of cottage cheese.  Keep processing.  It's a thick sauce, and I'm sure it'd be excellent as a dip or spread, if you cut the garlic down to one clove.  But since this will be baking it's garlic-loaded.  I was concerned about the thickness at first but since spaghetti squash is more watery than spaghetti, this evens out the texture of the dish as a whole beautifully.  

Now normally I'd layer but I tried, and since this sauce is so thick it stays put, to the dish's detriment. Plop it all in the pan...

...wash your hands, and dig in.  No, really.  There is no better way to more evenly distribute this.  It's kind of fun.  Enjoy yourself ;)

Mush it all up and push evenly into the bottom and all corners of the pan so you have a nice, flat bottom layer.

Now, cut up your sundried tomatoes... I use kitchen scissors for cutting just about everything, because it's easier.

Spread the sundried tomatoes evenly over the top of your smushed together layer, and then add the whole package of mozzarella (keep in mind you could use less and lower the calories, I'm just trying to be decadent here).

Then, lightly sprinkle the dried parsley on the top to add some color.

If you were going to make this ahead you'd put it in the fridge at this point, it should stay okay texture-wise for a couple of days like this.  If I'm meal prepping on Sunday I try to make pre-assembled casserole-type things within the first 3 days of the week.

Bake at 400 until cheese on the top is melted and slightly browned... this will totally depend on your pan and oven but it'll be from 20-50 minutes, toward the longer end if you had stored it in the refrigerator beforehand.  I'm not a big stickler on times, or temperatures... things tend to look done when they are.  Like this:

And, there you have it.  If you can believe me, it's even BETTER when microwaved at work the next day.

Cauliflower Leek Soup

I actually came down with a cold this week (I know, summer, wtf), I chalk it up to an obscene amount of work hours, traveling, not enough sleep, and most definitely stress.  I was pretty much eating different "healthy" canned soups during the workday but I wanted something better for dinner at home.

I considered boiling some chicken, making my own stock, adding veggies, etc... and it made me tired just thinking about it.  I wanted something easier so that I could eat it and then promptly pass out.

Then I remembered one of my favorite pre-paleo soups... potato leek.  It's easy, it's DELICIOUS, and hey... cauliflower works for potatoes in just about every other recipe, why not this one?

This is one hundred percent my own creation, I have the gist of potato leek memorized so I just did some subbing.

Dave swore it would be weird, but I just kept thinking well, broccoli cheddar works, why couldn't cauliflower soup?  And a star was born...


WARNING:  THIS IS OBSCENELY DELICIOUS.  EVEN DAVE SAID SO.  WITH THAT ADJECTIVE TOO, AND HE DOESN'T LIKE SPEAKING HYPERBOLICALLY SO IT REALLY MEANS SOMETHING.


Cauliflower Leek Soup

Ingredients:
One head cauliflower
Two large or up to four small leeks
Five cloves minced garlic (just run it through a garlic press)
4-6 cups chicken stock (you'll add to get the right texture so the amount will vary)
Two tablespoons butter (from grass-fed cows for bonus points)
Salt and pepper to taste


Chop the white portions of your leeks into slices.  Since you'll be blending this, the size isn't a big deal. A leek snob would only use the very bottom and toss the rest, but I like money and I know I'm blending it anyway so I use quite a bit more of the leek.  I would say I use about 60% of the thing.

In a large soup pot (the giant kind with handles) cook the butter until it melts on high heat.  Add all of the leeks and your minced garlic, add some salt and pepper and stir around.  Cook until the leeks turn translucent.

At this point, add four cups of chicken stock (you could use vegetable stock also, or be lazy like me and use water and better-than-bouillon).   Cook until it's at a rolling boil.

Now add your cauliflower.  It cooks faster if you've cut it into little florets.  I use most of the stem, just not the very bottom, tough part.  Throw some more salt and pepper on top.  Add a lid and adjust the heat so it's *just* boiling and cook for 20-40 minutes, until cauliflower can be pierced easily with a fork.

If you own an immersion blender, you are cooler than me, and you'd do some cool stuff at this point.  I, however, own a Ninja, so I carefully pour the whole shebang (yes it's burning hot, no, please don't die) into the Ninja and give it a whirl.  A long whirl.  If it's pretty much applesauce-textured, add some of that extra 2 cups of stock until it's less applesauce-textured.  It will still be a thick soup.

I was too sick to take a better picture.  We added shaved parmesan to the top 

because we had some extra.  If I were over-achieving, I'd also add a sprig of parsley.

There you have it.  It tasted amazing, it made wonderful leftovers, and it made me better.  Well maybe. I did get better though, and without isolating the variables you can't say it didn't...

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Of course we're going to start with cookies.

I originally made this recipe because I found it on a fantastic app (The Whole Pantry--DOWNLOAD IT) and I just *happened* to have the ingredients on hand.  It was obviously destiny.

These babies are dairy-free, grain/gluten-free, and egg-free... sounds awful, right?  The batter totally does not stick together at all, and they can get pretty brown on the bottom and stay un-cooked looking and gooey on top.  I had MAJOR doubts, and at first regretted wasting like $4 of almond flour.

BUT!

Have faith.  The girl who developed this recipe, Belle, knows what's up.  These are going to blow your mind.

And, the best part:  When I first made them it was late at night, I was watching TV, and I took a plate of five into the living room, knowing I may very well go back in and eat up to five more.  Which would be like the whole batch.  Because I'm a recovering binge eater, and that's what I'd do with regular cookies.  This is not good, but this is what I was probably going to let happen on this particular night.

I ate two.  And I was STUFFED.  An hour later I practically forced myself to eat another.

Remember, these are REAL FOOD.  And real food actually satiates you.  God, I love real food.

To me, these are Chocolate Chip Cookies and this is how I'll always make them from here forward.  Every recipe I love (like this one) I continue to make until I have it memorized and it becomes "mine".  But, credit where credit is due, so here are:




Belle's Vanilla & Almond Choc-Chip Cookies

1 1/2 cups almond meal
2 1/2 tablespoons melted coconut oil
1/4 cup cacao nibs (I use dark chocolate chips)
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder

Preheat oven to 340 degrees.

Mix everything in a bowl.  With a spoon.  Seriously, that's it.  See, it does NOT come together like traditional dough, but fear not!  You're doing it right.

Personally, I mix everything and then add the chocolate chips last, so I'm not beating them up unnecessarily:

Put parchment paper on your baking pan (if you don't already do this for everything you bake ever, you're doing it wrong) and do your best to fist these things into cookie-like lumps.  A spoon is NOT going to work for this.  Stick your hands in, try to form a ball, then flatten the ball.  They don't really spread, so you can group them close together.

I started at the top of this photo, those are the little champs.  Toward the bottom it became hopeless, and those will be the cookies we eat first.  Hiding in our house, nobody will know that I made some ugly cookies.

Set your timer for 13 minutes, leave in for up to 15--but don't let the bottoms get too brown.  Take them out when the bottoms are golden.  The top will look uncooked and jiggly to the touch, but trust me!  Take them out, let them sit for 15-20 min, and they'll firm up I promise.

Eat over the course of the next few days, because they're so filling they'll last!